Khamûl ( LOTR )
incorrect lotr quotes: (15/?)
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While I'm not happy with this, I figured I should probably post something,,, so yeag, have an Elrond and Celebrian thing
As always, rbs are very appreciated <3
Tag list: @penandsaber @poisonedyouth @saga-ordsmed @rt-d00-t @milf-maul @brother-genitivi @idontmeanto @stand-up-and-screamo @thechaoticfanartist
Heya folks n friends! Today on our LotR cooking series, we're going to be making something inspired by Mrs. Maggot, wife of Farmer Maggot. Originally we were going to do a cream of mushroom soup, but the idea of adding meat as a cheeky lil joke on their last names was too good to pass up. In my mind meat goes better with thin soups than creamy ones.
And thus Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew was born.
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew?” YOU MIGHT ASKFor the stew portion itself we're going to be using a hearty base, aiming for a layering of flavors. If you feel comfortable making a roux, feel free to do so, but I did not due to energy levels and thus the flour in this recipe is only used for searing the meat before its added to the pot.
- Cubed beef
- Flour
- Peanut oil
- Beef stock
- Dried porcini mushrooms
- Carrots, chopped
- Onion, diced
- Garlic, crushed
- Scallion, chopped
- Bay leaf
- Salt and pepper
- Ground red pepper
- Cumin
- Zatarins gumbo file
For the other mushrooms, were going to cook them separate and throw them in at the end (but they'll have friends to keep them company!!).
- Cremini mushrooms, sliced
- Half an onion
- Carrots
- Garlic
- Salt and pepper
- Thyme
- Olive oil
This took about 4 hours in total. If you have a slow cooker itd probably be easier to use that, but as is isn't too bad either. I mostly worked on commission stuff in the kitchen in-between stirring. "The best food is the one you don't have to make, the second best food is the one you don't have to think while making."
AND, “what does Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK
- HOT HOT HOT
- Tastes like walking from the cold into the cramped but cozy bar your friend works at
- Meat was so tender and juicy, melts in your mouth. Makes you cry
- It wanst actually carmelization but the onions had a hint of tasting caramelized
- Mushrooms- a strong umami flavor with a bit of smokeyness
- Once you get that Perfect level of gumbo file, it just makes every other element stick out more
- Like an energy booster for the ingredients
- A spotlight on the bay leaf, and oils, and spices
. If you don't want to use beef, feel free to use vegetable stock instead and replace the cubes with strips of king oyster mushrooms. Exclude the flour but still cook them in the pan.
. this isnt officially part of the recipe since im not sure itd be 'on theme', but feel free to start your rice cooker around the 3 hour mark so you can have some hot rice ready for serving as filler.
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When I was looking through food and food mentions in LotR, Mrs.Maggot just stook out to me. 'Queen amongst farmers wives' is both really sweet and a fuckin killer description. What a legend.
I wanted to do something based on her and our two options were either beer, bacon or raw mushrooms. Beer while very appealing is also not something you can whip up in a day, while raw mushrooms have a chance of killing my beloved readers. I don't want to talk about me and bacons sordid past.
And so as praise to this funky farmer women, may you add this stew to your collection of potpie, lasagna, and roast recipes.
Did i mention i started my first grease fire when making this? Yeah. Don't cover any empty greased pan even if your intent is to keep water from splashing into it.
Anyway, this recipe is a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) The partner has already made me pledge to cook it again hehehe
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hi friends! :D y'all voted and fought neck and neck for this SO- heres the first entry into our little cooking journey of J. R. R. Tolkeins fictional food for his fictional little guys he puts in fictional turmoils for our enjoyment and awe!
Before we get started i wanna say i owe my heart to all the LotR fans who upkeep the wiki, debate the cannon, and create their own versions of the foods mentioned. Both because of my love for people who LOVE (passionate people)(passion about anything) and because my own knowledge of this series is a little dusty. I've never seen the movies but I did read the books growing up. I'll be learning and remembering things from a fairly newbie standpoint, so no worries if you yourself arent familiar with the series! (and if you are familiar, hopefully youll forgive me!)
We will be making Lembas ('waybread') today! If you've made your own version of this please feel free to share it, similarly if you have any ideas for what we make next!
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to Lembas?” YOU MIGHT ASKWell so the funny thing is we kinda dont know. At least not entirely? The elves are dicks like that. But heres what we'll be using in ours-
- Butter
- Self-rising flour
- Granulated Sugar
- Raisins
- A small dried fruit of your choosing
- Almonds OR Pecans
- EGG
- Whole Milk
- Heavy Cream
And if you would like for dipping-
- Blackberry jam
To the extent i understand this is kinda like hardtack from the bri'ish military, but a fantastical version of it that actually tastes really good. Hardtack was a military provision with the texture of a brick that took a long time to spoil and could be easily carried with soldiers. So the texture we're going for is super dense, packed full with nuts and fruits (haha just lik-), but perhaps not that dense. We want something closer to a dog biscuit than actual tack.
I remembered something about corn being mentioned, thankfully the wiki clarified that no actually the british just referred to any grain as corn back in the day. Thank Fuck! Although I would like to try a version of this using masa in the future.
AND, “what does Lembas taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK
- Took a few tries but eventually got it perfectly chewy and dense
- The raisins cook-in like little beads of flavortown sweetness
- Cant speak for other fruits but for dried apple it softened up nicely, kinda matching the raisins in the end
- Im a big pecan slut, pecans fuck on anything especially here. Crumble them on top after you coat the dough with the egg-mixture for some visual appeal
- Somewhat flakey outside
- The jam was my idea, it was nice but might be too sweet for some tastes
- Would pair very well with a kiwi flavored drink
- Or mead
I can see why this would a travelling provision. Its both sugary (a good thing when expending energy) and filling (also a good thing when youre travelling) while not being overwhelming with flavor (if youre prone to motion sickness. Horse sickness? Do get motion sickness on horses?)
Its like how if you're going hiking you want a good mix of sugars and salts, to balance your intake of water.
. If you wanna make it like the illustrations or the movie, use a cookie cutter for either triangles or squares
. If you don't have a cookie cutter, an apple cutter also works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
. try to keep the board you'll roll the dough out onto chilled before you use it, it seems better for the texture of the food though i dont entirely know why
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So from beginning to end, it took about an hour and half for the first attempt. Down to about 40 minutes for the second attempt. These are a real simple recipe because its not like a croissant where the margin for error is nonexistent. Middle-earth be damned my boy can work a grill.
I'd recommend storing in a tubberware container, but if you're deadset on using leaves please rinse and dry them first, and wrap the bread in either wax paper or saran wrap underneath. We dont have mallorn leaves in real life (as far as we know) but most salad greens should work, or as Marie Porter says (linked in the reblogs!) a banana leaf.
I really enjoyed the process of making this recipe, itd be really easy to batch-bake these en masse, and the process of eating said recipe. Like all jokes aside, i think this would be a great substitute for trailmix. Its not going to get smushed and even if it breaks a bit it wont affect the taste. It wont keep you fed for a whole day but pair it with some pickles or a salty snack and yeah itll keep your motor running.
I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Let me know if you think I got something wrong, or if you ran into issues with the recipe. We're off to a strong start, lads!
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i dont know if tumblr still punishes link sharing on posts, so thats why this is in the reblogs- anyway heres a cool gluten free interpretation of Lembas from the talented chef Marie Porter! and hers even uses masa!
Hey folks n blokes! A few days ago ya might've been one of the people who helpfully responded to my question asking which LotR recipe we should cook next, and you all had great ideas. Including a golum salmonella sushi platter. There were a few that twinkled directly into my eyes, but only one fish gets fried at a time! Thanks @vensre for the suggestion!
Today from Lord of the Rings, we will be making Bilbo Baggin's Seed Cakes
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to a Seed Cake?” YOU MIGHT ASKIf you're an amer*can like me, you might have never heard of a seed cake outside of the context of bird feeders.
- Salted butter
- Fine sugar
- Whole milk
- Eggs
- Almond flour
- Vanilla extract
- Brown sugar
- Caraway/fennel seeds
- Ground anise seed
- Ground nutmeg
The real key ingredient here is the caraway seeds. The factor that ties all recipes together.
Important note, anise seeds and anise stars are 2 separate things!
AND, “what does a Seed Cake taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKTastes like what an old bookstore smells like.
- Smells like warm licorice
- But without the chemical-y aftertaste
- Take a shortbread and make it denser and with less airpockets. Thats your texture.
- A little bit like gingerbread but nuttier, earthier
- Very rich
- Beautiful crumbly brown outside, soft teddybear-brown inside
- Pairs well with a glass of milk hahaha
"A wonderful blend of sweet and savoury, seed cakes make a perfect after-supper morsel."-LotR Online. Mentioned both in the books and the MMO, being served after dinner ties into their real-life origins! Before caraway seeds in cakes became popular in the victorian era, they were often candied and served as dessert because caraway seeds help with after-meal indigestion.
. used an herb grinder for the anise seeds
. used light brown sugar where brown sugar called for
. used blanched almond flour
. if i made this again, would probably use higher quantity of nutmeg or add cinammon
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From entering the kitchen, to having this in my stomach, it took roughly 2 hours? Ish? Definitely make sure to let your 2 sticks of butter and 3 eggs sit out a bit beforehand so they reach room temp, it helps them whip together the warmer they are.
The most difficult part of this recipe was finding the seeds. Everything except the caraway/fennel and anise seed i already had, and maybe its a recent thing but since when did grocery stores start charging such an obscene amount for a regular bottle of spices? Is it not enough to have everything else infected by price-gouging, now we'll be scraping pennies for our little flavor heavens? Bleh.
The seed cake is a new experience for me also, and many pardons if some sacred seed cake rule has been broken today. It tasted fantastic! The licorice was a strong flavor I've never experienced in this form before, it suits itself well. If you're baking for children or have a sweeter palette, the bitterness may be a bit much, but just have them dunk it in milk honestly. It did feel like there was some 'empty space' on my palette while eating- if that makes any sense? It couldve been layered with another flavor but i still can't put my finger on what that missing flavor could be.
Definitely be careful to put the eggs into the butter/sugar a little bit at a time. I got impatient the first-go, and the eggs incorporated less, and it led to a greasier cake.
People seem to say that storing these and eating them the next day makes them taste better, i cannot attest as i ate both within the same day of making them.
This recipe has earned itself a glimmering 7/10, for making my kitchen smell nice but also making me use a standmixer if i want my arms to stay attached (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.)
